7 Years Of Wasted Opportunities
I have spent the past 15 years of my life studying.
Honestly, if you were to ask me about my secondary school and polytechnic days, I have no memories to share which I am proud of.
During my days in Victoria School, being a menace was the cool thing among the crowd in the lousier classes. Students from the better classes were labeled as stuck up assholes or fucked up nerds. We would walk out of classes, skip school and sneak up HDB blocks after school to smoke. Cigarettes could be bought from the nearby coffeeshop. We had to take off our school badges and go behind the drinks counter to buy cigarettes from the uncle. Lab lessons were spent copying from one another, playing aimlessly with (or stealing) chemicals and squirting distilled water at one another. The trend those days was cyber gaming. After school, we would hop on the bus down to Sim Lim Square. We had to put on a smelly unwashed t-shirt fished out of a huge cardboard box because we couldn’t play in our school uniforms and we were lazy to bring extra clothes. Besides, the extra clothes wouldn’t even fit inside our schoolbags, which were barely big enough for a textbook. Every time test papers were returned, the same old conversation would take place. For example, the Additional Maths paper…
Me : How much did you get?
Classmate : 10/100. You?
Me : Haha! 3/100.
Classmate : Haha! Better score than mine! How?
Me : Oh, I only managed to do the simultaneous equations. And I didn’t get it right.
Classmate : Haha. I got 42 points for my prelim. How many did you get?
Me : 49 points. Higher than yours.
Classmate : Haha, let’s spend our next few months roaming about. Not like we intend to get into JC anyway.
I got so smashed the night before on beer and glue that I didn’t even turn up for the Biology paper.
Somehow, I got lucky and ended up studying Information Technology in Temasek Poly. Within the first 2 weeks of school, I had received 7 warning letters for zero attendance. The rest of the years didn’t go along well. I resorted to paying people to sign my attendance as well as to do my projects. $100 for a project, multiplied by my 3 years there, is a lot of money. There was a point in time I only came to school when my Dad didn’t need the car for his work. I would drop him at the office, and take the Kaki Bukit flyover to school. After school, I would drive to the nearest 7-11 to get beer. At 5:30 p.m., I would take the same flyover back to his workplace to pick him up. I was usually in a very tipsy state and he would scream and demand to take over the wheel. When I headed home, I would usually skip dinner and continue drinking till midnight. I remember getting wasted in the school canteen and bringing cans of beer into the lecture hall and tutorial classes. There was once I tried walking into school, swinging an opened can of beer in my hand, but was removed from the premises by the security guard.
The only project which I had ever finished on my own, was my Final Year Project. That “B” was the highest grade I ever got.
Time went by very fast, and soon I was in National Service. One night, after booking out, I was sitting at home, packing my educational certificates. I found my Temasek Polytechnic transcript and looked through the columns of “F”s and “D”s. I had a Grade Point Average of 1.97. Who the hell on Earth will be that insane enough to hire me? I just realized that I had wasted the past 7 years of my life, accomplishing nothing! I wasn’t even an athlete, I had poor grades and not even a testimonial to show.
I woke up. I woke the fuck up.
Immediately I enrolled myself for an Advanced Diploma in Business Studies course with PSB Academy and paid the $5k within the next week. It was my decision to study this time so I had better show some results. For the next 1 1/2 years, I spent most my weekends burnt and under a lot of pressure to do well. It came as a shock to me after slacking for 7 years.
The course ended just in time to join the University of Newcastle intake, also at PSB Academy campus. For a $5k course, Jessie and I were granted almost $9k worth of credit exemptions. It was the best decision I’ve ever made so far.
Everything has been looking good so far if you ask me. I have been handing up every single piece of school work on time. I enjoy the lectures and participate to the fullest during the tutorials. I am very satisfied with my results. I made lots of friends. I even found the time to hit the gym, skate or run every single day of the week. I thoroughly enjoyed myself at the university ball held last week. It was the first time in my life attending a ball. Right now, it just feels as if the real school life had just begun for me. Even though we’ve got to spend long hours in school finishing up projects and sacrificing some weekends, I am proud of doing what I am supposed to do right now… to not worry about anything else and just study!
If I could relive my younger days all over again, I would have done many things differently :
1) In Victoria School, I would have aimed to be one of the “fucking nerds” in the better classes. I would have worked hard to be like the “suck-ups” receiving awards on Speech Day. Victoria School was a great environment to study in. The teachers were brilliant. The facilities and character-building activities organized were outstanding. Honestly, I was the only screw up.
2) In Temasek Poly, I would have picked up a new sport and joined a club. I would have aimed to be in the Dean’s List. I would have worked so hard to get my project featured in the Project Fair.
Then again, there is nothing in the past I can change now. The opportunity is lost. Now, a new opportunity exists for me to redeem myself and I cannot let this one slip.
if only we were 17 again LOL
henry
3 August, 2009 at 11:26 PM
Haha. I would love to be 12 again.
Sukianto H. Christopher
4 August, 2009 at 4:58 PM
u didn’t waste that 7 years because at least u had fun. let me tell u wad is wasting.
1- sec 1 express fail = sec 2 normal
2- year of sars, i got pneumonia twice in tad year and repeat sec 3
3- sec 4, scored A for N level, thought all will be well if i continue striving for O level
4- O level yr, got leukemia. end up barely passing and in rp
5- in rp 1st yr sem 1, because doctor didn’t realize i got hashimoto, i was a temperamental freak for the sem, barely passing that sem. second sem, found out abt hashimoto, tried my best to attend sch yet still failed tad sem. tad was in 2007. now 2009 which is 2 sem later (which i flunk for tad 2 yrs due to leukemia relapse and hashimoto mood swings), i now still yr 1 student and if i dun pass this semester, i haf to be dismissed.
u at least haf fun. in short, i wasted 5 years and i didn’t had fun for tad 5 years.
u shld be hapy.
Anonymous
4 August, 2009 at 9:50 PM
Guess what.. My GPA is exactly the same as yours..
tiMothy
4 August, 2009 at 11:38 PM
a really thought provoking post.. totally can understand your feelings.. seems like i got the same story with some details changed.. not even sure i have even woken up from it yet.. haiz..
jiji^_^
5 August, 2009 at 9:25 AM
Thanks for your really encouraging replies.
Anonymous : To be honest with you, you have emerged a stronger person that I am, after fighting so many battles. I had none to fight. There are no excuses for my consequences. I respect you for your determination, and I know you’ll be able to do it. I wish you a speedy recovery and all the best in your studies. Please do keep us updated! Thank you!
Timothy : Sigh, lets work hard together.
Zijie : I believe you have. Honestly, half of the cohort students who knew us few still think that we’re somewhere doing time in jail right now.
Sukianto H. Christopher
5 August, 2009 at 6:09 PM
:) hey bro, that was a really sincere and honest post. i came to ure blog cuz i saw a post vic wrote regarding this post of yours. :) Im glad to see a very promising start from what u call a regretful 5 years. do u think those are the very experiences that have defined u and been the source of fuel for your motivation to do well? i think those 5 years shldn’t b regretted :) :) continue to shine Chris!! :)
rich
6 August, 2009 at 9:44 AM
Rich : Haha, I just found out that you and Vic have blogs. Will link you guys up so I can keep myself updated with what’s going on.
I just read the post Victor wrote. It was very meaningful. Yes, those experiences did wake me up. But in the first place, I should have been more aware, and therefore made these experiences unnecessary. I regret the 7 years as I could have done much more with my time. Then again, new opportunities always exist, so all is not lost! Thanks Richard for coming by and providing words of encouragement. Really appreciate it.
We’ll meet up soon! There are still so many primary school friends we have yet to catch up with! Take care! See ya then!
Sukianto H. Christopher
6 August, 2009 at 1:31 PM
OMG!!!! chris thanks man!!! i finally found my motivation!!!! :) :)
i really mean it!!
shatrughan
7 August, 2009 at 12:21 AM
Shatrughan : What?! You read my blog?!!!!
Sukianto H. Christopher
7 August, 2009 at 4:55 PM
Hey even though I might not have a proper education coz I’m no better than you… I’m doing very fine now and please… those days are the most fun times of our lives. Many ppl look back and reminisce about boring tertiary days but they envy us we have lots of whacky stuffs to talk about even today. Cheers!
Education is secondary…coz it intrigue me that degree students aren’t getting a proper job still… What matters most.. you must have AMBITION! Good luck brudder…
Sky
9 August, 2009 at 12:47 AM
I believe in life… don’t be a follower.. you must inspire ppl and influence them… Be a LEADER. People are successful in life coz they take charge of their life well, rather than let circumstances affect them. Cheers!
Sky
9 August, 2009 at 12:52 AM
I am proud of you, brother. I have known you for years. Everyone has their own flaws, but it takes real courage to admit them and take charge of their circumstances. I wish you well.
Razlan
9 August, 2009 at 9:53 PM
Pang : Haha! Correct! But studying hard as well as playing (drinking + partying) hard would have made those times even more fun. Yea, you’re right about ambition and being a leader. Man, I totally agree with you! \m/
Razlan : Thanks Razlan! I wish you all the best too in your career. Let’s have dinner and drinks together when you’re back!
Sukianto H. Christopher
9 August, 2009 at 10:30 PM
http://vs.jonaize.com/index.php
Petition for VS
17 August, 2009 at 7:31 PM
No problem.
Next time at least leave your name or a message.
Sukianto H. Christopher
17 August, 2009 at 8:51 PM
i was the Anonymous who posted in 2009 aug.
guess what. i flunk poly and had to withdraw early this year because i couldn’t complete teven 1 sem within 6 sem.
i was supposed to go psb for foundation course for science and i end up deferring from 2009 june to 2010 june. why? because i screw up my liver thanks to long term medication from leukemia, thyroid etc etc etc.
people my age now are graduates while i haven’t even get a damm cert.
right now u are gona graduate soon while im still waiting to recover before i can even attend class.
i have no idea how long more i need to recover and all i can do is try my best.
you are damm lucky & successful though u wasted 7 years
Anonymous
30 December, 2010 at 7:22 AM
sorry. i mean defer from 2010 june to 2011 june.
anyway, good luck to u!
Anonymous
30 December, 2010 at 7:23 AM
Hey man, how are you doing now? The race is long and I believe you’re still young. My mum got her Masters when she was 48 to 49. Take it easy and don’t let the cert bother you too much. I’ve managed to get the grades I’ve always wanted, and after graduation and all that celebrations, I ask myself… now what? Am I really that happy? Not really… it’s just a cert.
How many people have degrees? Tons of them.
How many people have masters? Plenty.
How many people have PhDs? Less than plenty, but still a lot.
Have you tried mind mapping? It didn’t work for a lot of people whom I’ve recommended it to, but it did for me. Even till now I’m still mapping while I’m at meetings.
Am I successful? No. I’ve never encountered such great obstacles in life. I’ve always lived a life of dependence. I depend on my parents for everything… pocket money and the car I’ve been driving around for 3+ years. I’ve lived a comfortable life, performed average, and it is absolutely wrong to say that I’m successful.
Are you successful? Absolutely. You’ve shown me the true meaning of perseverance. Do you have the potential to make it big? The answer is a resounding yes.
Are you studying because you need the cert… or are you really interested in the course? Are you working part-time or waiting for NS?
Let me know, I’m really curious to know more, especially when you’ve been following Orangeous for such a long while. If you’re uncomfortable sharing it here, do email me at sukiantohamzah at gmail dot com.
Sukianto H. Christopher
30 December, 2010 at 8:39 PM
Dude. I’m a ger which means NO ns.
Mind mapping dun really work for me.
Thanks to long term medication (I’m still taking 13 tablets a day now) & previous chemo, radiotherapy etc, my brain cells more or less affected & I’m no longer as alert or able to study like last time.
My memory sucks big time now, my concentration time span also drop tremendously cuz I get tired easily.
You are freaking successful.
At least you struggle for few years and now you have the grades + the damm cert!
You can enter work life now & start to rely on urself!
I’m still leeching on my parents!
Granted my family background is quite good but dad has recently retired so I have to scale down.
Medical expenses are freaking expensive also.
Certain drugs which are better and has less side effect are not allowed to be subsidised which is really WTF.
I can’t even learn driving cuz I can get tired suddenly & my eyes also cannot take it.
My elder siblings are graduates, working & I’m the only one who haven’t even got a damm cert.
It’s hard when everyone around u expect hell alot of stuff from you due to ur background etc.
it’s even harder when your own family looks upon you with those disappointed eyes.
it’s even sadder when you realize tad u had tried your best yet still failed.
I want to study because ultimately, I want a damm degree cert. I want to be able to work & keep myself alive.
my elder bro is older than me by 8 years. my sis is older than me by 14 years. due to the age gap, it’s even harder to communicate with them and I’m like trying to salvage the family r/s.
they detest me cuz I’m the youngest, got the most benefits from parents yet I’m the worst.
I’ve been following orangeous since u start the web itself. heck. I used to lurk around ur old #sin channel.
lets jux say due to some centuries old grudges, I’m like the no.1 enemy over there so I sure as hell not gonna reveal my identity. I have changed & I hope u can let bygones be bygones.
Anonymous
1 January, 2011 at 8:33 AM
Sure. No worries, it’s like a decade ago and I don’t really know who you are.
The cert don’t mean nothing I promise you. You will get them all someday and it’s your attitude which will eventually take you forward in life.
I have absolutely no idea why you’re filled with self resentment. You need to pick yourself up and nobody’s going to do that for you. Absolutely nobody.
Get some exercise too and see how it goes…
Sukianto H. Christopher
2 January, 2011 at 10:21 PM